the chronicles of noriday: the pill, the bitch and the hormones

I feel like every girl taking any form of contraceptive pill could write a series of memoirs on her experience. Mine would be titled as above.

I've been on Noriday for almost a year and half now. It's a progestogen-only pill, also known as a mini-pill. Don't be fooled by the use of the word mini as the side effects are far from that. 

The mood swings
My mood swings are killer. First, I get angry, real angry. I plan to start an argument with my boyfriend - 'plan' being the operative word. I know this sounds crazy and that's because it is. We've all done it. At least, that's what I tell myself to validate my actions. 

Anyway, you know when you've planned a scenario out with someone so perfectly in your head but when it plays out in real life, the other person goes and fucks it up. My boyfriend always says the wrong damn thing. He never sticks to the script. How fucking inconsiderate, right!?

Mid-argument, once the script has gone to shit, I'll start crying. As tears roll down my face, the boyf takes pity on me. He gives me a hug. I love his arms. I love this hoodie he's wearing too but I love it even more when I wear it. It always smells of him. I hope he leaves it when he goes home because I'm going to miss him so much even through I'm seeing him tomorrow. I love him. He's such a good boyfriend, what did I do to deserve him? At this point, I'm pretty much sobbing. 

Where the fuck is my period?
I like having periods. One of the main reasons I use the pill to be protect against pregnancy therefore a late period freaks me the fuck out. Irregular periods have become the norm for me and so I have learnt a thing or two on how to prevent unnecessary breakdowns when your period is late. 

You should always have a stash of pregnancy tests at home. I keep mine in a draw alongside my extra pills and condoms. The last thing you want to do when you think you're pregnant is pop to the shops and buy a test. I've had to do that a few times and the walk home from Sainsbury's is excruciating. Imagining my life as a mother was not fun. 

Tracking your periods is also really useful - I use the app, Clue. It reassures me knowing that I have not had a period for 6 weeks before and it wasn't because I was pregnant. Additionally, I like to note down if I've missed a pill or been late taking it. You can also do this on the Clue app. I can then seriously determine whether or not there is actually any possibility I could be pregnant? The answer is almost always no.

Horny, horny, horny
Am I the only one who finds everyone and everything attractive when they're horny? I hope not. My sex drive, or libido (who actually says that in real life though?), works overtime whilst I'm on the pill. I don't live with my boyfriend, but even then I don't think even he could keep up with me, and so I have to find ways to entertain myself. I even have a wishlist on Lovehoney.

I've most definitely admitted too much already and with that in mind, I'm going to leave this post to end here.

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